10 Museums that Should Pay Its Visitors

Get ready for another list of some of the wackiest museums that people can come up with. Each one either is or was an actual museum and the owners have gone to great lengths to obtain the best of the best, from penises to teapots and everything in between. Take a walk with us as we explore the disgusting to the mundane. Admission to the list is free and who knows, you might just see an ornamental toilet that floats your boat. One thing is for sure though. These museums should pay people to visit, not the other way around.

Eat that or I’ll take you to the museum!

ALL HAIL THE ROYAL ASPARAGUS! That is right, get on your knees, lowly dog. The asparagus is in the house. For many years, your average German resident could only dream about this flavorful vegetable as it was only grown and served to the Royals. So revered was this green delight that it was not even mentioned in German literature for hundreds of years, probably to keep the common man from thinking about it. Eventually though, it was released from royal servitude and accepted by the German populace with open arms.

They have parades and festivals surrounding the asparagus and even name an asparagus king and queen once a year. During the months that they celebrate this once forbidden food, there is a distinct aroma in the air. It is either the smell of cooking asparagus or the funny way it makes pee smell. Either way, the Germans eat that stuff up. They love it so much that I wonder if they eat Asparagus pee soup. The exhibits include sculptures, art, and information about the history, agriculture, horticulture, conservation, and even the gastronomy of the asparagus.

That’s correct, stay away from this artifact

Now here is a museum that knows how to keep patrons... with barbed wire. What could possibly be more interesting than walking around what appears to be a trailer with a canopy looking a fence all day? Sure, the barbed wire fence has a cool nickname in “The Devils Rope.” It has also been put to some pretty cool use in movies like Spider-man II, when Dr. Octopus ties Spidey up with barbed wire when he delivers him unconscious to Harry, the soon to be Son of the Green Goblin. But to dedicate a museum to it? Well, don't fence me in but that is pushing it just a little bit.

We already know that the west was not really won with the six gun. It was tamed by the millions of miles of barbed wire that was strung everywhere to contain cattle and claim land. Maybe that is why they came up with the museum. They needed a place to keep all that left over fence.

This looks like something I don’t want to know… no thanks.

You may have noticed the use of the word gallstones in place of kidney stones on the museums website. Do not worry; this little mistake did not escape us. Pat yourself on the back for your keen skills of observation and go solve some crimes. You most definitely have a future in crime fighting. (Or the makings of a criminal mastermind?) Meanwhile, the urology museum is an interesting enough place if you get into urine, kidneys…, and stones, for that matter. It contains a wide variety of pictures, drawing, and writings on the subject and its display of instruments that have been used in urology over the years.

The only thing lacking in this fascinating place is a cot to lie down on every few feet, as you are lulled into sleep or coma. By the way, they are hiring a curator if you are interested and yes, the last one died of boredom. On the upside, the instruments developed or used over the years is rather captivating.

The Museum Teapots have gone Berzerk

Unfortunately, the Teapot Museum forever closed its doors on January 31 of 2010, despite raising $80,000 in operation funds through two community benefits. During its seven-year run, the Teapot Museum served the community with beautiful and well thought out displays that included the works of such noted Craftsman as Potters of the Roan. In fact, the Kamm Collection is considered to be the most beautiful and unique teapot collection in the world and was on display at the museum for many years. Even after Sonny Kamm and his wife, Gloria Patrick Woodie withdrew their exhibit, they continued to offer unique and eloquent additions to the museum at regular intervals and fund raisers.

I am just sorry that I will never get to see the museum. It is gone, I fear, forever. That only leaves me with two things to live for. Let us just hope the urology museum does not close its doors or I will be down to one.

What's next? A roach Spa?

It took me several minutes of getting over the woolies after viewing the roach video about the Roach Hall of Fame. Disgusting creatures that they are, you have to admit that they are resilient.

Bug Exterminator Michael Bohdan decided to have a little fun with his job by offering a one thousand dollar prize to the person who came up with the biggest roach in Texas. He also ran a contest where folks would dress up roaches and sent the displays to him. He was invited to be on the tonight show and the rest is history. He has the Roach Hall of Fame and Museum. He has written a book about the roach. He travels the world with his roach talks and displays. What more could a man ask from his career? Not much, according to Michael, he says he is forever in the roach's debt.

Roach Museum Video

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It's said strange creatures lurk in the museum..

Harry Finley is looking for a home for his 4000 plus piece collection of all items menstrual. He used to have the museum in his basement but closed mysteriously in 1998. My guess is that his wife or girlfriend shut him down. Regardless, Harry does have some interesting items. For instance, did anyone besides my mother-in-law know that Sears and Roebuck sold a rubber menstrual apron back in 1914? Well, Harry actually has one. If Harry does get visitors to his exhibits, it will be mostly women as men have enough problems dealing with the menstruating women in our lives.

Harry, we do not want to know. Please, seek help.

That’s one hell of a specimen Joe! did you use a chainsaw for that?

If petrified peckers are your thing, then book passages and preview the penis paradise in the Icelandic Phallological Museum. There are pristine peckers galore here as the museum claims to have every kind of pecker known to be in one country. From little tiny bug pistols to monster sized elephant dicks and everything in between.

Once again, I find myself asking the question…, why. Why would anyone have a collection of any kind of dick, much less all kinds? Another query I would pose is where and how did they get all these peckers. You can bet they were not donated freely. I would not bury my worst enemy's dog without his dick in place, much less a grizzly bear, which this museum claims to have.

Great, I’ll take a dump right here…

Dr. Bundeshwar Pathak founded the museum of toilets (why?) saying that he saw the need for it. You know, I can remember many times in my lifetime where I said to whoever happened to be next to me when it crossed my mind, "You know, what we need around here is a museum of Toilets." How wonderful that the world now has one, although I doubt very seriously that I will ever see in since, as you might have guessed from the good doctor's name, it is in India.

I have to admit from pursuing the website that there are a great many creative and interesting shit cans on the planet and a history of the different designs and workings makes for good reading. (Yeah, okay then.) I wonder if, as you leave the museum, a little Indian man says, "Thank you, and poop again."

WHY?!?

At first, I thought, what a stupid idea for a museum. I mean, museums are supposed to be fun and if I wanted to see a variety of burnt food, well, I would open my eyes during mealtime because my wife burns everything. (Have you ever seen burnt cheerios?) This museum has it all, from burnt waffles to burnt Mac and Cheese. When you think about it, we have all made mistakes in the kitchen. If we did not, there would be no need of the kitchen fire extinguisher. So why not celebrate our fallacies with a museum dedicated to it.

I guess you can find beauty in almost anything if you look at it long enough, hard enough, or with the right perspective. Oh, shit. I have to run. I forgot about my pies in the oven. You know what, let them burn. I am feeling creative today.

OMG, WHYYYYYYY?????

Well, I looked over the website and as it turns out, the museum of bad art, or MOBA, is just that, a museum filled with the most atrociously bad art I have ever seen. At least there are no surprises here except one. It seems they have come up with a book, aptly titled, "The Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks." I have given up on asking why anyone would collect bad art. I assume it is just easier and much less expensive than collecting good art. For a cheap thrill, look for the noodie section of the website.