Mega Pick Up Lines for Pros

Are you one of those guys/girls whose hearth race badly when attempting to start a conversation with the opposite sex? Yes? Worry no more. In an attempt to do public service the List Cafe gathered a nice collection of pick up lines to help you out. You’ll be in the sack in no time with these. Just don’t tell your mom you’ve seen them here.

Now on a more serious note, these lines are meant for professionals only; do not attempt any of them at home (or anywhere else for that matter). Any attempt to use these lines by non-professionals will likely result in one or multiple slaps in the face and quite possibly one uppercut that will dislocate your jaw. If however you somehow scored with any of the lines bellow please let us know about your experience in the comments. Other suggestions to add to the list are also welcome.

• Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 19 Votes )
• I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 24 Votes )
• Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 18 Votes )
• Coffee? Tea? Me?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 19 Votes )
• Do you work at subway??? because you just gave me a footlong!!!
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 17 Votes )
• Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 25 Votes )
• You look like my third wife. [Oh, how many time have you been married?] Twice.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 23 Votes )
• Hey, I lost my phone number ... Can I have yours?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 27 Votes )
• Hey, somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 15 Votes )
• Do you like pool, cause I've got the balls if you've got the rack.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 19 Votes )
• Are you cold? [Yes] You want a jacket? [Sure] Well, not here, you can jack it when you get back to my room.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 17 Votes )
• My love for you is like diarrhea, I can’t hold it in.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 15 Votes )
• Nice shoes. Wanna f***?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 27 Votes )
• Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 17 Votes )
• If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 16 Votes )
• You wet? I'd bet you are after looking at me.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 17 Votes )
• So, you're a girl huh?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 16 Votes )
• You're so fine, I'd suck your daddy's pecker just to get some of where that came from.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 12 Votes )
• If I had a nickel for every time I saw a woman as beautiful as you, I’d have a fortune.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 15 Votes )
• Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 20 Votes )

  

• If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 10 Votes )
• Do you like magic? [Yes] I want to cast a spell on you with my magic meat wand.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 11 Votes )
• I've been noticing you not noticing me.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 13 Votes )
• I want you to have my children [pause] GREAT! They are in the car outside..
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 10 Votes )
• Smile if you suck!
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 8 Votes )
• Wanna dance?? No? Well I guess F***ing is out of the question!
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 9 Votes )
• Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 14 Votes )
• I had your sister last year, she sucked. Wanna defend your family honor?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 13 Votes )
• You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 16 Votes )
• Your dad must have been retarded, 'cuz babe, you are special.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 13 Votes )
• Do you have a license for that wagon you're draggin'?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 8 Votes )
• You have the face of a saint -- a Saint Bernard.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 8 Votes )
• Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 13 Votes )
• Hey, I lost my phone number ... Can I have yours?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 11 Votes )
• Nice legs, When do they open?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 14 Votes )
• I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can sure make your bed rock!
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 12 Votes )
• That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 12 Votes )
• Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 16 Votes )
• You have 206 bones in your body. Do you want another one?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 18 Votes )
• Do you deliver peoples mail? I don’t want to surprise you with my package.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 10 Votes )
• How do you like your eggs in the morning? fertilized?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 14 Votes )

  

• Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 19 Votes )
• How do you get 10lb outta fly? [unzip pants]
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 8 Votes )
• Why don’t you come sit on my lap and talk about whatever pops up?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 14 Votes )
• Are you a vacuum cleaner? You really suck
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 8 Votes )
• Good day for weather.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 8 Votes )
• What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? [pause] My zipper.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 10 Votes )
• I’m easy, are you?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 9 Votes )
• Your eyes remind me of diamonds, because diamonds are expensive, and so are eye replacements, and baby- you need eye replacements.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 8 Votes )
• If I was hungry for crabs would you spread your legs for me?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 10 Votes )
• Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 9 Votes )
• My magic watch says that you’re not wearing underwear. [I do!] Damn! It’s 15 minutes fast again.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 16 Votes )
• You don't look too bad, I'm guessing you only got hit once in the face with that sack of nickels, right?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 8 Votes )
• I may not be Mr. right, but i’ll do you till he shows up.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 6 Votes )
• You’re not the best looking thing here tonight. But really, beauty is only a light switch away.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 10 Votes )
• Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the cash?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 11 Votes )
• Screw me if I’m wrong, but haven’t we met before?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 9 Votes )
• I just shat my pants. Can I get yours?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 7 Votes )
• What winks and is like a jackhammer? [What!?] (wink wink)
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 7 Votes )
• Hey baby... you got any diseases? Want some?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 10 Votes )
  

  

• Nice shoes. Wanna f***?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 9 Votes )
• You wet? I'd bet you are after looking at me.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 5 Votes )
• Do you like chocolate? [Yes] You can have my bar.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 5 Votes )
• Hi, I’m an astronaut and I’m here to explore URanus
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 10 Votes )
• How much did it cost? [What?] The surgery that made you so hot!
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 7 Votes )
• You look like my mommy. I like my mommy.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 9 Votes )
• Hi, I’m Chuck. You know what else rhymes with Chuck?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 6 Votes )
• Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 8 Votes )
• Hey!
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 14 Votes )
• You have something on your ass... What?... My eyes.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 9 Votes )
• Wanna see a trick I learned in prison?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 14 Votes )
• Did you know that there are millions of cells in your body? [Yeah] Want some more?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 10 Votes )
• Are those implants?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 7 Votes )
• Have you seen my enormous jar of "Penis Reducing Cream"?
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 7 Votes )
• You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.
  
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  ( 10 Votes )