Top 10 Bizarre Animal Wannabe Body Modifications

Do you ever have the urge to purge by poking holes in your face and adding horns to the top of your head? What about splitting your tongue and covering yourself with more ink than the declaration of independence? (With the Bill of Rights thrown in for good measure) Why not just gouge your eyes out and stick a grenade in your mouth while you are at it. Piercing and such can be cool if done tastefully and with a small measure of restraint but some of these folks went just a little bit too far. Here is the top ten list of Bizarre Animal Wannabe Body Modifications. Psychotics welcome here.

Does anyone else think this guy looks like a big "bull" frog? My goodness gracious, this loopy fellow could just about step through the loop in his ears. I guess he could use them to lasso up a beer from the bar or if he had hair, they would make great ponytail tie backs but what else could you use earlobes with holes the size of your head for? Post your suggestions for number ten and let's see who can actually come up with some good uses for him. We'll pool our suggestions and drop them in an 'envelobe' for him. (Yes, I did.) I suppose he could skip rope with them.

Okay, a nose ring is one thing but this bullring is just way over the top. Why anyone would even want to wear this is beyond me. A massive sneeze would backfire and blow his brains right out the back of his head. My guess is that would not be hard as you would just about have to have a hole in your head to want to wear this anyway. No offense to any piercing peoples out there but you have to admit, its rings like this that give you a bad rep. Piercings, done tastefully can be really cool but that is just bull, no shit.

Okay, this guy has issues. Can you imagine how hard it would be to get through the detectors at the airport? Along with the crazy tats, he is sporting numerous studs and double implants of lumps and horns. If I were a betting man, (and I am) I would bet those horns screw on and off. We should ask him where he got those horns that screw in case we are ever in the mood for a horny screwing ourselves. (Yeah, I know… I just couldn't resist.)

Also a contender for the top ten most ironic tattoos list, shark man was minding his own business, just swimming around in the big blue when a shark reminded him in whose neighborhood he was trespassing. Once he healed, he had this groovy tattoo put on to take the bite out of it. Hopefully, it will cut down on people asking, "What happened?"

Okay, no one seems to know who this guy really is but you have to admit, suction cup implants are pretty cool. I think they would be cooler still if they were on the inside of the arm but hey, to each his own, right. Do not confuse this guy with The Octopus Man, a poor guy from the Philippines who has a conjoined twin growing out of his abdomen. That guy has four arms and three legs but he is still dubbed the octopus man. We wish him well on his possible upcoming surgeries. BTW, if you are going to look for info on the Octopus man, the one with the implants, prepare yourself because the site features cuttings and other gross material not suitable for the young or squeamish. I would be wary of virus dangers as well.

1892 -- 1969 Horace Ridler provided the inspiration for many a sideshow performer. Not one to use the word freak, Horace distinguished himself in WWI for gallantry in the British Army while serving in Mesopotamia. He did not start getting tattoos until he was in his twenties. He pursued this work as a career after having some success with a few tattoos, which he later covered with his famous stripes. Horace progressed his appearance as he progressed his act, eventually having his teeth filed, his septum pierced (by a veterinarian) and his ears adjusted to accept larger and more elaborate earrings. In his early days, he traveled as The Great Omi with his lifelong wife Ommette and has the distinction of being the longest running headline act (six weeks) at the Guinness Odditorium Theater in New York. He also toured with Ringling Brothers as the headliner of the freak show for one season. After a long career, he retired to the city of Ripe, Sussex England and died at the ripe old age of 77 years.

Katzen is the German word for cat. This feline beauty says that her tattoos started as a quest for self-knowledge and awareness. She should know herself pretty well then as she has an elaborate display of tattoos that are, to me at least, beautiful and unique. She also has whiskers by way of piercings. She remembers wanting the markings that make her so recognizable as early as age five. Of course, she did not really know what tattoos were at that age, she just wanted the markings. She was married for a time to another performance artist called "Enigma." Together, they put together a successful musical called "Human Marvels." It is somewhat hard to tell but underneath those beautiful stripes is a beautiful woman. The world, however, is filled with beautiful women. Katzen is a one of a kind piece of human artwork the world may never see again. It would be a shame to miss her.

You have to admire the man that can live alone, free from contact with the outside world, and still be legitimately happy. That is what Tom Leppard claims to be. Not the happy, smiling all the time, jumping up and down and acting like a lunatic happy but a calm, contented version of the word. The fact that he is tattooed over 99.2% if his body is not an elaborate claim for fame and fortune, just a simple way to make money years ago. Tom does have a small claim to fame, however, as the Leopard Man of Skye, Scotland and previous holder of the Guinness category, most tattooed man. He chose a life of solitude and lived in what could barely be described as a hut in the remote wilds of Skye, Scotland for twenty years. At age 70, the weekly kayak trip for supplies was becoming dangerous and difficult. It would probably have been his ticket out of this life, had not a friend offered to put him up in his own small apartment. He accepts and lives by himself in the city of Bradford. He is still a solitary soul with no need of company or creature comforts like TV or Radio. More power to you, oh Mighty Leopard Man of Skye because we all wish you well.

Dennis Anver is known to his friends by his Native American name, The Stalking Cat. He holds the Guinness Book of records for the most body modification. If his ultimate goal is to lie around in a zoo licking himself while basking in the sun, he has a long way to go. He is an electronics/computer technician by trade. Among his many alterations, Dennis has relocated his septum (that cartilage that makes our noses) to elongate his profile. He had his earlobes moved to the top of his ears and pointed to resemble those of a cat; however, he may just cut his ears off as he also had an implant on his skull to accommodate tiger-like ears at a future date. He has many hours worth of tattoos and silicon implanted cheekbones. With numerous piercings and a cleft upper lip, you have to admit, he looks like a cat. The question is, which end of a cat does he look the most like? Hey, I'm just kidding Dennis. I think you look Grrreat! Why would someone surgically change his appearance to look like a cat if he is not a performance artist? What do you think? Send us your thoughts on this question.

Some people would look at the Lizardman and be repulsed. They will say that he is a freak or that he is a weirdo. Maybe that is true. It would depend on your personal definition of freak and weirdo. Could it be that this Lizardman is actually a performer who takes his chosen profession so seriously that he has taken it to the next logical step? The Lizardman, who goes by Eric Sprague at the dinner table with his wife and/or family, is the ultimate performance artist. How many of us have the courage to choose our life's work and then stick to it with such conviction that we are ready to change elements of our life to conform to and enhance it? When I see Eric, I see a man who knows what he wants to do with his life and has made the necessary modifications to make it the very best that it can be. The fact that he has dedicated his life to entertain us is noble and honorable. When I see Eric as the Lizardman, I do not think about my bills or my arthritis, or any of my other numerous problems. In this way, Eric has succeeded. So if your definition of freak or weirdo is someone who makes sacrifices to make of himself and his chosen profession the very best that it can be, then Eric is all of that and more. Entertainment is supposed to take us away from our realities for a little while and make us happy, or at least happier. Thank you, Eric. I wish all performers were as dedicated as you.